It is just surreal.
Honestly, I still can’t compute the fact that my sister is gone. It’s harder to imagine about it when you are thousands of miles away.
Thank you all for your comforting messages and comments, and for all the prayers you’ve sent. We truly appreciate it, and I am sure arwah feels the same about it too.
As for myself, I’ve been keeping myself busy to take my mind off. It took me a whole year to decide what color I want for my bedroom, and apparently, less than 8 hours to get it done. I bought 2 pairs of shoes and 5 tops. Yes, these don’t bring happiness to me, at least not now, but I guess that’s how I handle my grief. I still cry every now and then, especially after prayers, but I am getting better now. I keep thinking about all the things we did together, like queuing up for more than an hour at Baskin Robbins every 31st of any month. Arwah really loves Baskin Robbins, especially the Jamoca Almond Fudge flavor. And how we always make fun of her buying RM 20 pair of shoes, but end up buying like 10 of them because they don’t last that long.
Arwah was the reason I updated this blog. She really loves her nephews and nieces (she was 41 and was never married), and she always pestered me with Aiyu’s update. Try not to update the blog for more than 3 days, for sure she will text me on MSN, asking for some new entry. Not only that, she was the backbone for Sooyaree’s Closet. She was the one who told me where to shop, what to buy, and most importantly, how to manage. Excel sheet, she was the queen!
Regardless how hard the phase I am going through, I am sure it will be worse for my parents. I think that will be the biggest fear for any parents, for their kids to go before them. But then again, ajal dan maut di tangan tuhan. Everything happens for a reason.
At least she is not in pain anymore
We miss you Kak Long. May you rest in peace, you’ll be in our prayers always.