Saturday, December 3, 2011

Down and blue

Generally, I am a happy go lucky person.

But not lately.

Sejak kebelakangan ni, aku rasa down aje. There are 1001 reasons I can pin on, but then again, I have more reasons to be happy than to be sad. Tapi itu lah……

First of all, it’s the weather. Oh my, it is really depressing. I realized how much I hate being cold. Lelagi bila dah dapat aura cuaca summer Midland. When the temperature went down, kami balik Malaysia. Skang hamik obat, kekadang pakai sweatshirt dalam rumah.

Salah satu sebab lain kenapa aku agak down, adalah pasal Cik Aiyu.

DSC03126-e

Sejak balik ni, aku dah macam tak paham dengan anak sendiri. I don’t know whether she’s going through a phase or what, tapi mak aih, member skang makin cengeng. Kalau aku tak attend dia on time, dia akan merajuk. Lari daripada aku, pastu mengadap dinding. Kekadang aku pujuk, kekadang aku biar aje. I know she misses her cousins and family back in Malaysia, and I am trying to fill in the gap wherever I can. Tapi takkan la doploh pat jam nak main kan, aku kena buat benda lain jugak. Dah la waktu tido dia memang out skang, lagi la aku letih nak layan. At times I get really frustrated, and then I will feel bad after that. Rasa macam mak pemalas nak layan anak pulak.

Speaking of pemalas, sebab lain aku down adalah aku rasa rumah tak pernah kemas. Bilik air tak cuci on time, karpet tak vacuum, meja TV boleh nampak habuk…

Come to think about it, I know who’s the culprit.



My weight issue.



Macam takde kena mengena, tapi itulah hakikat nye. Ye, berat badan sudah naik banyak sekarang. Jeans gemuk yang aku pakai time badan naik pun dah jadi ketat, waddehel? Mungkin ada yang cakap, isu ape nye, BMI still in normal range. Frankly, I think weight issue is not really about the digits on the scale, it’s more on how do you see yourself in the mirror. More importantly, how do you feel about yourself. Ok, maybe it is not weight issue. It should be called, body image issue. Baru kena, tak?

Kesimpulan yang aku buat adalah, bila badan rasa tak selesa, aku akan jadi malas. Malas nak layan anak, malas nak kemas rumah, malas nak buat semua benda. I mean come on, orang lain rileks aje. Aku baru anak sorang dah terkontang kanting. Orang lain anak 5, siap kerja lagi tu, sempat aje buat semua benda. Jadi nampak sangat sape yang pemalas tu kan, hehehe..

So now, I am working bit by bit to gain back my confidence, hence my energy. Mula kemas rumah. Kurang guling-guling. Buat sesuatu yang baru, seperti….
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Membuat roti.

DSC03128-eDSC03129-eDSC03131-eDSC03133-e

Did I feel better after?

Indeed.

It’s funny how something simple can lift your mood up. Nasib baik haku tak channel depression terhadap online shopping kan, hahaha… naya! Koyak poket! Ni takat koyak dapur, ok le. Tepung tu pun memanggil, dah lama tak jumpa mangkuk.

Korang korang pulak, kalau waktu down, buat ape ye?

22 comments:

cicayanki said... BALAS

owh honey, i think it is just a phase, you'll get through it. when i miss home or feeling down about school, i will go shopping or eat like nobody's business. i cant really cook or bake, so i shop :D

it is okay to feel down. life is messy, it is not perfect :)

take care babe!

ps: the bread looks yummy! i wish i can bake something.

Kim Misesu said... BALAS

Same issue with me la..sis, I rasa weight gained to memang boleh buat kita pemalas walaupun BMI maintain normal.I plak, kalo rasa down sangat, selalu shopping (masih dlm kawalan hehe) and tengok movie.

blu4sky said... BALAS

salam huda,
gebunya roti..i pun tgh meroti tp yis 3 packets semua dah innalillah padahal x buka lg..tgh tunggu cik abg blk belikan mauripan.

venusfreedom said... BALAS

Nurul, i've been there too darling.pasal anak kan,tho i am not working anymore, i send aariz to school.tho for 3 hours, i let him socialise. I have time for myself. Then i went to gym while he's at school. Balik school,aariz qada' tdo 2-3 jam.there goes happy mommy.

P/s: badan gemuk mmg stress xhingat kan. Nak nak kalau suka masak/bake tu..kite jugak lah jadi MBPJ nye.makin naik badan! Huwaa..but, if baking n cooking makes u feel good, go for it dear;)

Dinas Aldi said... BALAS

Mau tak lega hati tengok roti gebu camtu :)

Nanak said... BALAS

masa bfast tadi,hubby ckp kat i, 'kenapa baby (ye,kitaorg tbiasa panggil Fredo, baby..) skng mcm kuat nangis?' bila u mention Aiyu pun cengeng, i rasa normal kot..kalau Aiyu blh merajuk paling ke dinding, Fredo pula baling barang..OMG! mmg kena banyak bsabar..
btw,roti itu sungguh gebu, bila la i pandai meroti ni..

BabyIntan said... BALAS

Biasalah anak2 nie perangai mereka akan berubah-ubah, kita nie yg nak kena 'follow and adapt' dgn perubahan ini sebenarnya but once kita dah faham 'rentak' mereka, insya'Allah things will go smooth once again. Tapi jgn spi biarkan mereka 'rules' kita pula, parah nanti :)

Aiyu mungkin rindu je tu dgn cousin2 dia, nanti dia okey lah tu but in a mean time Huda lah kena jadi pengganti nya...he he. Cuba cari something new and exciting for her to do. Haaa pasal suka merajuk tu kan cuba buat something fun masa pujuk dia tu, it works with Arissa. Tengah moncong2 tu, dia boleh tergelak2 bila kita buat joke...haa haa. So skrg nie mmg kurang dah sifat merajuk dia tu. Dia suruh kita main pujuk2 dgn dia lagi adalah :D

BabyIntan said... BALAS

Just nak mencelah comment kat 'Nanak'...

Pasal anak baling2 brg nie kan, my doter pon pernah lalui nya juga. Nasib baik phase tu sekejap je. Every time my doter buang something usually her toys, I said to her nicely but firmly 'either you pick it up or else mummy will throw it away'...you know what she did pick it up! Few times like that and now no more throwing things tantrum again, Alhamdulillah.

Budak2 kan normally sayang toy mereka so bila kita buat mcm nie secara tak langsung behaviour yg mcm nie dpt di bendung. Maybe you can just give it a try ;)

-mamamia- said... BALAS

as a working single mom with 3 young kids & no maid, normally i just cry my heart out for for few minutes then i have to go back to reality. tons of things to do & i'm grateful for this healthy body & mind to raise this beautiful kids. give back to unfortunate ones and make somebody else happy. life is short.

ctm.zainal said... BALAS

Mama Aiyu.. premium beauty corset kan ada.. hehehe.. dah lama tak masuk ini blog.. been buzy sket...

lemongrass said... BALAS

I pun sama mcm you. Since balik Msia I ada issue with body image. Walaupun my BMI still very very normal tapi since I pernah kurus at my ideal weight, naik 2kg pun I rasa mcm nak nangis. But instead of exercising nak kuruskan badan, I tend to cook and bake and eat!Hapadah betul kan, hahaha.
I still have problems until now understanding my girls, hehehe.

sHieRa cAkAp said... BALAS

Biasa la budak2... Kita yg adult ni mmg susah nak paham but slowly ok.... Weight issue? me too... ada masa rasa down sangat bile pikir pasal berat badan eventho benda it's not a big issue.. Me kalo tengah down adalah dengan melalak berkaraoke... Hilang segala kegusaran. muahahaha

sya_zazoo said... BALAS

Aiyu rindu suasana kecoh kot.balik umah rasa sunyi mulala dia clingy.pelan2 kayuh..mamanya kena happy happy dulu k..kena plan activity baru xbosan..budak2 suka outdoor activity.
Cian aiyu...n mamanya...xpe,kitorang blogger temankan k.

DeLancrettLurpak said... BALAS

I feel you bebeh!

Tapi aku rasa ko ok lagi, sebab BMI ko still in normal range lagi.. aku before balik Mesia 6 kilos terlebih from normal range.. balik Malaysia, terus naik another 6kg and made me obesity, meroyan aku noks! and now walau dah masuk category overweight balik, aku tetap tension sebab my weight naik dan turun ikut mak abah dia! kejap aku boleh sarung jeans size 12UK, kejap dah tak buleh nak kancing butangnya, emosi mak nyahhh!!

hang on there, bawak2 bertenang... and indeed, baking and cooking really helps! hehehehe

Ruch Mathers said... BALAS

saya kalau stress,pegi cari laut.tenang sikit dengar bunyi ombak.kalau tadapat laut,tasik shah alam pun jadi.haha kemaruk smpi mcm itu.tapi selalunya akan pegi studio,muay thai training sambil suruh trainer pasang lagu Eminem.kalau masih belum elok,nangis je.tapi not more than 5 mins. na memasak tareti apatah lg baking.jadi...buat mcm itu je

hope you feel better!

jas imran said... BALAS

perangai anak memang bermusim kak... skrg ni musim anak rajin memunggah kain baju yang dah tersusun berlipat. haruslah maknya yang jenis malas melipat kain nih sakit jiwa... Huuuaaaaaaaaaa.....

tzar said... BALAS

habis baca entry u aja, tetiba aja tangan click website yang kira BMI...huhuhuhu..my BMI 26.2...overwieght..nak meraung nie :(

アヌムちゃん said... BALAS

berat sy pn dh naik..wuwuw..sedihh btol.kne diet la nmpknya.huhu..menjadi roti tu..cantik je dia naik.huhuuu

Niza said... BALAS

Huhu bukan u je bmi dah naik mencanak , kita pun sama . X sanggup timbang berat & tgk scale . Bila bdn nak makin berat nih mmg jadi malas... Nak dayet sgt susah nak start & maintainkan.. huhu

Anyway roti tu nmpk sgt mengancam....

Mick's Mama said... BALAS

Musim winter memang cenggitu. depressive :(

Madam Sooyaree said... BALAS

Cicayanki,
Thanks dear. Dulu I pun suka channel to shop, tapi skang ni, shopping can really be a challenge. Aiyu tak suka I belek2 barang. Anyway, get a good mixer, then for sure you can bake ;)

Kim,
Waaa... best nye tengok movie! Dah nak 18 bulan kita tak gi wayang, huwaaaa...

Sue,
Salam dear. Wah wah.. donut anda adalah sangat marveles hokay! Berbaloi tunggu kan? ;)

Ema,
I pun tengah tunggu Aiyu besar sikit, so that I can send her off to school. Hantar sekarang, macam takde hasil pasal cakap pun tak pass lagi, hehehe... Wah, rajin you pergi gym. Harap kat I, hancus!

Dinas,
Hehehe.. alhamdulilah jadi. Kalau tak merana berganda, hahaha

Nanak,
Eh, Fredo pun tengah go through that phase ke? Thanks for sharing, at least I know I'm not alone :) Eh, simple je tau buat roti ni. I memula ingatkan susah. Tapi bila dah buat, tak la susah mana

Baby Intan,
Thanks for the tips, nanti I cuba. Arissa umur berapa dia mula faham bahasa eh? Aiyu ni kekadang kalau I cakap dia paham, kekadang tak paham

Mamamia,
Wow, you are one strong woman! Salute! True, there are usually more reasons to be happy. Thanks for sharing dear

CTM,
Hahaha.. mak tak kuasa jadi Robocop nyah! How's classes for you? Bila cuti?

Kak Mynn,
Hahahah... sama la kita, kalau boleh hari2 nak membakar! I know I should start to burn more than consume, tapi takat tahu je la, buat belum lagi, hihih...

Shiera,
Best nye karaoke! Kita dah lama tak gi k box ni, huwaaa

Sya Zazoo,
Skang ni winter, nak ber outdoor pun segan sket. Gi mall tak lut, end up pergi McD kasi dia panjat slide aje lah, hehe... Thanks dear!

DLL,
Muahaha.. kes seluar tu memang naya kan! Nak salahkan kesan penuaan, Heidi Klum tu rileks aje badan lawa. Nyampah!

Ruch Matters,
Laut memang sangat menenangkan kan... Akak pun suka pergi laut. Bau laut tu macam best aje, lelagi kalau dapat terjun, hihihi... Wah, muay thai! Takleh cari hal ni, haha

Jas,
Hahaha... perangai yang tu Aiyu ada gak. Terpaksa lah kita lipat baju sambil berdiri, atau hat hat yang dia takleh nak capai

Tzar,
Oopss.. jangan nangis laling! Takpe, pelan2 kita kayuh ke bawah :D

Anum,
Marilah kita bersedih bersama, hehehe... Sedih sedih, tapi tak buat ape tak guna gak kan (lempang diri sendiri)

Niza,
Kita nak tak nak kena tengok scale, pasal nak timbang kotak, hahaha... Tapi itu le, tang malas tu yang tak dapat dibendung. Tak elok!

Azura,
Sana mesti lagi sejuk kan... Takpe, kalau2 you depress, peluk Mick kuat2 ok!

fatt said... BALAS

hai huda! its been a while i tak say hi kat u :)

yup, kdg2 bila depress kita mcm lost momentum nak buat apa. rasa nak baring je atas katil & tak peduli sume benda sekeliling. i slalu gak camtu & kdg2 terbawak 2-3 hari. tp lepas 2-3 hari i try buat something yg boleh distract my mood, contohnya masak ke, blogwalking ke, tengok tv ke..pastu dah happy skit then lupalah sume..

i tau ianya tak semudah apa yg dicakap but i know u can handle it. take care :)

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