Thursday, July 3, 2014

Women can't have it all


Something really caught my attention while watching the morning news today.
 
It was about Pepsi & Co CEO, Indra Nooyi making a statement saying, "women cannot have it all".
 
I guess what she really meant was, mothers cannot have it all.
 
What do you think?
 
 
 
I think it is true.
 
 
 
It always have been a battle about working mom vs staying at home mom. Honestly, I can't really pick a side because I have never been a working mom. Can't really give out points unless you are in someone's shoes eh?
 
All I can share is, my view as being a stay at home mother.
 
Personally, I still feel that some people look down on SAHM. I really hate it when I hear comments about all we do is to watch soap operas.
 
Like really?
 
And at times, you will see comments like "it's not the quantity of time, it's the quality". So are you saying that we are spending non productive hours with the kids everyday? Plus, are you trying to tell us that after all the hours you spend working, you can actually pay undivided attention to your kids until they go to bed?
 
Superwoman I must say.
 
 
 
Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to bash working moms. Most of the people I know, are working moms. Generally they are content with what they do. Especially in Malaysia, working is not really an option. Everything is super expensive, so whether you like it or not, you do have to work.
 
What I don't really like is, when some ladies say, "I am so tired of working, I think I want to be a SAHM". Trust me, being a SAHM is not easy. Especially when you have some working experience.
Put aside the house chores that you have to do, it is harder on one emotionally. Now, you have no income source. Suddenly, everyone expects that your house is spotless clean. And your kids eat gourmet meal 3 times a day. I won't lie that every now and then, I wonder how would it be if I am still working. Perhaps, I can be a manager somewhere. Wearing nice suits, high heels and nice purse. Eating with colleagues/clients at nice restaurants. Not running after your kids in sandals and jeans, with occasional visits to park or McDonalds.
 
No, I am not complaining. I love my kids and being a SAHM, but occasionally, I do wonder "what if?". I guess my point is, it is true that women can't have it all. Regardless to which extent we go for our kids, deep inside, we still feel like a bad mother.
 
Someone wise told me, "No mother ever think that they are great mother. But guess what, I bet they are".
 
 
So let us embrace our differences, and accept the fact that it is ok not to have it all, and to cherish what we already have.
 
xx

13 comments:

shafiza jai azali said... BALAS

all moms are supermoms ok... honestly I think SAHM lagi penat kot dari working mom. At least working moms get to be away from their kids for few hours to keep them sane (well at least for me). I respect SAHM a lot!! And yes everything is expensive here in MY, so we almost have no choice but to work here to provide better economy and better living for the family. At the end of the day ALL moms want the best for their family.. So let's respect and backup each other! (Apesal tazkirah panjang ni?? Emo sket kalo org kata SAHM do nothing walaupun I am a working mom)

Norliana Abdul Rahman said... BALAS

nak like 15 kali boleh tak?

i think i can give view from all, working mom, SAHM and WAHM.

i say, semua susah. be it financially, mentally, physically and emotionally. masing2 ada bahagian masing2.

so jangan la ingat one is better than the others.

bersyukurlah kita dengan apa yang ada.

eh sori ye tuan rumah terlebih emo pulak :)

FaznFaz said... BALAS

cik kak, kau kerja kut, tapi ofis kau kat rumah laaa..... hahah!!!

kalau kita still buat kerja lama kita tu, xder makna pakai baju lawa kalau asyik pakai coverall dgn tangan penuh greese... hehe!!!

aku rasa sama penat je dua2, dulu time tak kerja, sebok nak kerja, skrg bila dah kerja balik, takdela ease of mind sangat pun, sampai tahap, kalau aku duduk rumah, aku duk ingat kat kerja ofis, kalau aku kat ofis, aku duk ingat kat anak2 n house chores!!! parah tau x???

Anonymous said... BALAS

I remember having this debate on my oral test for MUET 6 years ago. 3 judges were working women and i''m the odd one out of 4 students that picked SAHM compared to working women. They bashed me with this quality thing too haha . Its true that we cant have it all but we can make the most of what we have in our on ways. Just try our best to make it work kan..

Anonymous said... BALAS

Yes..its true...
before ni i bekerja n bila my 1st child da masuk std 1..terus i tekad berhenti..mmg SAHM bukan kerja senang rasanya lagi penat kut dgn ank2 yg tengah nk membesar.
But..ada lagi typical mak2 bekerja yg rasa diri diorg hebat sgt..pernah my daughter balik dr sekolah muka sedih tahap gaban sbb ada kawan xnk kawan lagi sebab mak dia x bagi kawan??? Tiap2 hari i mmg bagi ank2 bawa bekal ke sekolah..bukan sbb x cukup duit but rasa lagi puas hati n kenyang..tapi kt msia ni if bawa bekal ke sekolah,mak plak xkerja mostly pandang cam 3rd class family kot. sentap gakla kita ni memula dibuatnya..agaknya kena bagi resume mak ayah siap ngan bank stmnt kot bru ok..:(

Kengkawan said... BALAS

Tuan tanah yang budiman,
Dapat akkakk rasakan kesiriusan penulisan kali ini. Surirumah juga satu kerjaya yang mulia dan perlukan kriteria yang tertentu dan belum tentu semua orang boleh buat dengan berjaya.
Akkakk doakan Tuan Tanah akan berjaya dalam bidang yang diceburi.

Baideway, 2 of my sisters are homemakers, n I am proud of them:)

Kengkawan said... BALAS
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Kengkawan said... BALAS
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Kengkawan said... BALAS
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Anonymous said... BALAS

Tuan tanah yg dihormati..
Dua2 pun mencabar. cabaran dlm bentuk berbeza..Ingat senang ke nak jadi SAHM ..ngadap anak dari pagi sampai ke next pagi (non- stop kan..malam pun nk bgn bancuh susu and what not..tiheehehee)..i rasa macam satu kelebihan ok if anak2 yg moms diorg SAHM moms..as long as keadaan ekonomi miengizinkan..cuti 3 ari straight pun dah tahu betapa mencabarnya dok umah ngadap peel anak2..eh..peel laki lagi..hehehe...i tak tahu lah macam you hubby omputeh camner..tapi lelaki melayu ni selalunya (bukan semua) bila bini tak keje susah tol nak tlh house chores...eh..hasil bacaan di celah2 kehidupan..huhuh..so tiada pilihan yg terbaik....kita hanya go with the flow jer mengikut kesesuaian gitu..hiks..

Anonymous said... BALAS

salam sis,

I will be SAHM after raya. wish me luck...hihihi. tp pape pn, lillahita'ala...insyaAllah semua ok. yg penting kite redha & bersyukur dgn diri kita. True, bz working tp hati & fikiran dok igt anak2 n umah. hope sy boleh menempuh la dugaan SAHM ni. agak2 anak dah besar sng control, maybe can change the status to WAHM...weeee insyaAllah

Nota Cikgu Anum said... BALAS

Same je bagi iols. Dua2 ssh. Dua2 letih. Tu yg kdg2 rase nk jd laki. Tp kang nti jd laki iols asek pikir nk kawen lg plk. Uih ssh jgk hikhik

Madam Sooyaree said... BALAS

Jai,
Thanks for the support babe, really appreciate it. Kita bukan nak recognition ke ape, cuma kekadang bila tengok orang cakap quality time berulang kali tu, rasa nak lempang je, hahaha... True, semua nak yang terbaik kan, so terpulang pada masing2 cuma jangan rasa one is superior than the other kan? ;)

Liana,
Haaaa... tu lah kan! Kita bukan nak medal, cuma jangan pandang kita sebelah mata kot. Belum lagi dengan kat US ni, agaknya mesti ramai ingat iolls golddigger. Gold pun takde nak di dig, apa kes? :P

Eila,
Hahaha... boleh la, WAHM la kot? Tapi aku apa2 pun kids first kot. Sebab tu aku malas nak go all out. Takut tak terkejar. Kesimpulannya dalam apa situasi kita, kita mesti terfikir kan, what if we are on the other side. Manusiaaa :P

Anonymous,
I don't know why working moms always come out with the quality time issue. That makes me think, that they think we are hating ourselves being at home, and we hate our kids, hence the lack of quality. Or perhaps, just to justify for their lack of presence? My point is, it's ok not to have it all, just don't make it as if you have everything, and we SAHM have nothing :)

Anonymous,
Laaa... macam tu sekali kot? Kalau I pun, I prefer makanan dari rumah kot. Dah tentu berkhasiat. Kita pun pernah sekolah kan, mesti lah tau jenis makanan yang disediakan di kantin. Agaknya kena kasi anak bento box yang cute cute tu, supaya kawan2 your kdis jealous, mintak mak buat nasi bentuk panda gak, hahahaha....

Kengkawan,
Terima kasih kak, really appreciate it. Selalu gelak gelak, sesekali muhasabah diri kan, hehehe... kita ok je, kerja ke tak kerja, tapi kekadang geram bila orang pandang kita sebelah mata. Agaknya orang ingat semua SAHM ni jenis yang tak layak bekerja kot, entah la kak. Yang golongan kecil ni lah buat kan kami SAHM rasa geram kekadang tau :(

Anonymous,
Hahaha... what to do! My mom pun tak kerja, and I dah biasa ada mak kat rumah, so rasa cam best je. Tatau la nanti kot kot anak2 menyampah tengok muka mak dia ni kan, hahaha... Betul tu, peel laki kena amik kira gak. Laki omputeh ni pun kekadang kena suruh gak, kalau tak dia duduk melepak je, hehehe... diorang jenis tak kisah rumah bersepah, kita kekadang naik pening gak la kan. Tapi ada jugak lah ditolong, at least tolong jaga anak, hehe..

Anonymous,
All the best dear, insya allah :) Betul tu, yang penting nawaitu kita kan, tapi kalau dah penat kekadang terkeluar jugak rasa bengang tu, hahahaha... Nanti share la experience k, camne duduk rumah :)

Nota Cikgu Anum,
Hahahaha... amboiii... Sib baik kat Amerika ni takleh kawen dua, kalau tak harus lah iolls pening! :P

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